Have you ever known someone who expects understanding but offers very little in return? Someone who wants forgiveness without accountability, help without responsibility, and loyalty without reciprocity?
In recovery rooms, you may hear the term King Baby Syndrome—an informal expression describing emotional immaturity, entitlement, wild immaturity and difficulty accepting responsibility.
It can show up in addiction, family relationships, marriages, workplaces, and, if we’re honest, sometimes in ourselves.
Understanding someone’s patterns and even their wounds doesn’t mean excusing their behavior. Childhood trauma, addiction, and painful experiences may help explain unhealthy patterns, but healing requires accountability and a willingness to change.
So how do we navigate these relationships without losing ourselves?
We stop rescuing people from every consequence. We establish healthy boundaries. We practice detachment with love. We learn that saying no doesn’t make us cruel, and allowing another adult to take responsibility for their choices isn’t abandonment.
And perhaps most importantly, we turn the mirror toward ourselves.
Can we accept criticism?
Tolerate disappointment?
Apologize without excuses?
Take responsibility for our reactions?
Recovery isn’t about making everyone else change. It’s about becoming willing to do our own work, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Put down the crown, or walk away from the one wearing it...
Pick up our own work.
You can love someone without enabling them, forgive without surrendering your boundaries, and protect your peace without becoming bitter.
And creating space from frustrating patterns and emotional chaos is as good a boundary as it gets!
You can’t do someone else’s growing for them. But you can choose to be healthy regardless.
Listen to the latest Unhooked podcast with Annie Highwater and let’s keep doing our work!
Wishing you well,
Annie